The anti-bark collar...I hated it...

Before I started coughing, my MMM bought a anti-bark collar.  My endless barking was driving her batty.  I barked at the mailman, the UPS guy Jimmy, the meter reader, Tucker the lawn guy and neighbor, Sam the neighbor kid who doesn't like dogs, a boat going by, humans and dogs walking on the ice, a newspaper blowing across the yard and anything out of ordinary. Some dogs raise their heads into the air and bark at nothing.  Not me. I didn't bark at nothing. 

A few months before I started coughing, my MMM bought an anti-bark collar.  She was tired of shaking her finger at me while saying, "no bark, Willie!"  Sometimes I'd shut up for a few minutes to make her happy.  Sometimes, she'd give me a treat when I shut up.  I'd gobble it down and then run back to look out the window to see if the object of my barking was still available.  As I said, I didn't bark at nothing. 

The collar came in the mail and she had me wear it for a few days in order to get used to the feel.  Nothing happened.  No big deal, I thought.  On the 3rd days, I saw her push a little switch on the collar.  Nothing happened.  She was sitting on the sofa, playing with that silly PDA thing so I lumbered up and sat behind her head, sniffing her neck and nudging with my nose.  Oh, oh.  I saw a strange dog in our yard and l let out a hearty bark and whooooooooooosh!  I got sprayed with citronella in my face.

I was so startled, I barked again and when I got sprayed a second time I jumped on her head, barked again and we both got sprayed.  She laughed.  I ran and hid under the bed.  I hated the collar.  Once I started coughing, she stopped making me wear that darned thing.  When we found out I had cancer, she tucked it away on the counter near the bar.  Every so often, she'd look at it, sad for the reason I couldn't wear it again, sad that she ever made me wear it. 

So yesterday, she put the collar and the three unused cans of citronella in a little red bag and we walked to Bella and Buster's house and dropped it off.  Their grandma has a small dog, Lilly (ha! Sounds like my name!) that barks at everything and...nothing.  She'll run under the bed when she gets sprayed in the face.  Bella and Buster wear them too 'cause they also bark at everything and nothing.  Like I said, I don't bark at nothing.

Now I can bark all I want and my MMM and my DDD don't say "No bark, Willie."  Last night when I had to pee in the middle of the night, my MMM stood outside with me in the dark and I looked up at the sky and...barked at nothing.  As she bent down to pick me up so I wouldn't keep barking and awaken the neighbors, I saw a tear roll down her cheek and a smile on her face.  I didn't bark at nothing after all.