Tough weekend...today is better...

I didn't feel like writing over the weekend. Coughing was bad and I didn't have an appetite.  My MMM made me those chicken livers I usually love and brought home one of those roasted chickens from the store.  I wasn't able to eat either. 

Then she made one of my favorites, p...a...n...c...a...k...e..., a catch-all phrase me and my brother BenBenBen learned to spell and used to refer to anything one eats at breakfast.  The yellow scrambly things sat in my bowl for a few hours until finally she tossed them.  She had a worried look on her face.

Later in the day, she made some ground hamburger but when I took the second bite I found THE DREADED PILL, spit it out when she wasn't looking, and wouldn't eat another bite.  I missed a few doses. I coughed a lot.  She tries to hide that she is worried.  She tries so hard.

She doesn't want to force it down my throat knowing how sensitive I am and how it would hurt my feelings.  That might make me hide under the bed all day.  When I do that she gets down on her hands and knees and looks under the little skirt around the bed trying to entice me to come out with that familiar sweet voice and some sort of treat. I go there because I want to be left alone.  I know she means well and I love her for it but sometimes I am scared and need to hide.

So our weekend wasn't that much fun.  My DDD was with me inside and outside.  It feels so good when he is with us.  He moves the furniture so I can easily jump up and look out the window.  The ice isn't our yet.  Hopefully, soon.

This morning I stayed in bed, covers tucked under my little arm (fine, little leg) and had the hardest time getting up.  She made p...a...n...c...a...k...e again to no avail.  But I did get THE DREADED PILL down wrapped up inside of a nice slice of homemade roast beef.  Yeah, it was worth it.   

There's the grocery store kind of out in the country in Waconia that makes the best bacon in the world, smokey, thick and meaty.  Yesterday, I heard her tell my DDD that she was going out there on Monday to get some of that bacon.  She knows how much he and I love that bacon.  As she headed out the door, she gave me the usual kiss goodbye (in case I drop while she's gone), she asked me if I wanted to ride with her.

"Go for a ride in the car."  WOW!  Nothing could be more exciting!  So off we went to the country for bacon.  Me, in the passenger's seat with my blankie and a big cup of water in the drink holder (I get so excited in the car, I always guzzle the water). 

It was so much fun except for the part when I had to pee when we got to the store parking lot.  She knows my bark when I have to pee but for safekeeping I always knock on the car door, a cool trick I figured out when to drove to and from Las Vegas over a year ago.  Gotta pee, knock on the car door. Simple. 

Luckily, she had the harness on me and a leash so we ran around the parking lot looking for a post.  The wind was blowing so hard, my ears were flying around and my pee sprayed all over me when I went.  She left me alone in the car while she went inside (NO DOGS ALLOWED!).  I entertained myself barking at every human and car that went by.  That was fun but I got out of breath.

She was smiling when she got back inside the car since she had a treat for me.  She said they were giving out samples of homemade salami which I usually love.  She put them in her coat pocket and saved them for me.  She placed both pieces on the center arm rest in the car hopeful I would gobble them up. 

I took one slice down to the floor of the passenger's seat grabbing a dishtowel she had on the seat and proceeded to bury the slice of salami in the corner and cover it with the towel along with the cell phone charger I found on the floor, in a neat little pile.  I was thinking, gee...maybe I will get better and when and if I go for a ride in the car again, the salami will be there for me under the towel.  Maybe I'll have an appetitie by then.  Good idea, huh?  When we got home I took the other piece and hid it in the yard using my nose, the same way I did in the video I posted here last week.

Still I hadn't eaten anything except for the one piece of roast beef when we went inside our home.  She unloaded the groceries and sat on the floor of the kitchen with a little jar and a baby spoon in her hand.  She offered me a taste of what turned out to be a jar of Gerber Chicken with Chicken Gravy.  When I tasted the smooth creamy texture with no sign of THE DREADED PILL, I ate spoonful after spoonful until it was almost gone.  Well, its like "they" say,  baby food and diapers in the beginning of life and baby food and diapers at the end of life.  I guess once she puts the diaper on me, I'll know the end is near. 

Today is exacly 2 weeks to the day, that my doc predicted my end would come.  But I am still here, going for walks to Poop Park everyday, carrying around my snake, looking out the window, riding in the car, searching the yard for rodents and playing with my dear MMM and DDD.  It's one day at a time from here.  I am grateful for every moment I have and grateful to my MMM and my DDD for deciding to wait for me to tell them when I am ready for Doggie Heaven, not when they were.  I'm not done yet...a little longer, please.